If you ever get the chance to interview or befriend someone who counsels troubled inner-city youth in violent neighborhoods, you might hear the following description of a successful day: no one got shot or arrested. These selfless “street workers” teach patience, deep breathing, and control, three key aspects to this month’s book selection, “The Willpower Instinct” by Kelly McGonigal. With McGonigal’s breezy and humorous style on a topic of such universal importance, I can comfortably say this is the best self-help book I’ve read in years. What last month’s selection, “Never Eat Alone,” does for those focused on aggressively enhancing their networks and personal brands, this book does for those working tirelessly to create the lifestyle they so badly desire. Of course, if you don’t struggle with indulgence, you might take something else along with you to the beach. This book is only for those of us trying to master willpower, as defined by the author as the ability to do what really matters, even when it’s difficult.
Pop quiz, hot shot: Everything worth achieving starts with having a stated goal and then tracking one’s progress toward that goal. (My answer before reading this book: Yeah, duh!) Think of this now as perhaps just a half-truth; yes, state your well-defined goal but be mindful of McGonigal’s rule on the problem with progress. She warns the reader that our willpower challenges have conflicting goals, pitting our long-term interests (e.g., saving for retirement) against immediate gratification (hello, casino!). “In the moment of temptation,” she warns, “you need your higher self to argue more loudly than the voice of self-indulgence.” The issue is something called goal liberation, whereby we pat ourselves on the back with one hand and raid the cookie jar with the other. Progress is of course a good thing, so long as it doesn’t cause us to fall prey to the classic one step forward, two steps back trap.