Perhaps you’re aware that General Motors has been having issues with defective ignition switches in some of its older-model small cars. Apparently, these problems have festered long enough for the automaker’s employees to develop rather creative vocabulary to describe how the cars operated, revealed in the discovery of a 2008 training document that identifies some 68 words you shouldn’t use in the hallowed halls of GM. The end result? As reported by the AP’s Dee-Ann Durbin a couple of months back, a $35M fine levied by the US government along with a traffic jam’s worth of headaches.
What words are these, you ask? Are they similar to the ones George Carlin long ago identified as those that can’t be uttered on television? No, not at all. None of these words is dirty per se, unless of course you’re accountable for producing cars that don’t spontaneously combust, in which case they’re downright filthy. For example, the word defect is a no-no at GM simply because it can be interpreted as a legal admission of some sort of problem. Same goes for the words terrifying, horrific, and evil. You see, when you describe the operation of an automobile as “terrifying,” you’re kind of admitting that it’s poorly made and may cost someone their life when they climb behind the wheel. The mind wanders when it comes to “evil,” however. Short of the car actually hurling personal insults at the driver, you figure it’s gotta handle pretty badly to be considered demonic, right? (Either that or perhaps it’d be appropriate to be leaped in a single bound by a motorcycle man named Knievel.)
It’s also frowned upon at GM to say a car is a deathtrap or a widow-maker or apocalyptic. And as fun as it might be to say Chevy Hindenburg, you can’t because that’s on the banned list as well. Surely there’s a less-menacing way to say “potentially disfiguring,” right? Good thing, because you can’t say that either. And let’s stick to the facts, shall we? While it may be tempting to announce a certain car is “a lawsuit waiting to happen,” it’s best just to say what part of it doesn’t work and leave it at that.
But no matter. You likely don’t work at General Motors. If you’re reading this post, you probably own a business and/or advise others who do. In that case, take a lesson from all this and simply apply it in your world. What words and phrases shouldn’t be used in your company? Well, if you’re on the path to selling your business, let’s hope no one’s saying “she’s taking on water” or “we’re sinking like a stone.” And hopefully no one ever says “bail,” “mayday,” or “dump it quick.” Those who prepare for the eventual exit never need to say these things.
The key word to always treasure and respect is leverage. You have it now. You’re not for sale, even if someone approaches you with a so-called sweetheart offer. Hang onto your leverage as long as you can as you calmly look down the road at the eventual sale of the business. Do research, get advice. What, you don’t feel like you have a lot of time? Fine. Present yourself to the world as relaxed and at the same time get busy planning. And naturally, as GM execs would tell you, the situation is never “Kevorkianesque.”