Learning to Get Unstuck

There’s a fair amount to be anxious about these days. Pick a card, any card: frayed democracies, fractured alliances, railroaded citizens, “your body, my choice,” on and on. It’s one thing to obsess over yoyoing stock portfolios, but how’d you like to be a young adult bracing for the third recession of your short life as you flirt with such an uncertain job market? Diante Fuchs is here to help and makes two effective overarching points in her 2024 guide, The Gift of Anxiety: the disorder is actually a perfectly normal response meant to keep one safe and by employing mindfulness it can be leveraged positively. “When you understand that anxiety is acting in your best interest, you can truly begin to see it as an ally,” she writes, further declaring it can be used for personal growth. Trained as a clinical psychologist and then as a coach, Fuchs believes that most of what we commonly call mental illness would be better termed “stuck emotions.” [Note that she and the publisher get the ball rolling with a Medical Disclaimer, more or less “hey pal, this here ain’t professional advice” through which we hear the thrum of a call-your-doctor-to-see-if-it’s-right-for-you voiceover.]

So don’t get stuck, rather focus on a different five-letter s-word: shift. Because anxiety is a natural emotional response, “it needs no curing and cannot be removed.” Shifting allows it to subside naturally and by understanding the four phases of stuck anxiety, one can hopefully avoid what can otherwise be so debilitating. Fuchs says it starts with fear, evolves into frustration, which leads to obsession, and lastly defeat, which creates more fear, and let the vicious cycle begin. She coaches us to recognize a scary scenario – say, picking up the phone to (gulp) call a stranger – and harken back to a time when that wasn’t such a big deal, where you did not become hypervigilant or exhausted. Those of us who make calls for a living might understand a younger generation’s addiction to online scheduling and discomfort with a live interaction, but good gravy what is the worst thing that will come of pushing 11 digits on a telephone? That a human being answers? A wise woman once said, “feel the fear and do it anyway” and thank Christ for that.

Snark aside, for those who do get stuck in the spin cycle, we’re provided with a more robust four-step solution Fuchs calls the E.A.S.E. Method: Empower, Accept, Shift, Engage. With Empower, one replaces a woeful “why me?” with a more thoughtful “why now?”, putting an anxious matter into perspective. That invites one to Accept, that it’s “just an emotion you experience from time to time,” which helps to navigate around rabbit holes. As suggested, a Shift puts one back in control of their own mind. With Engage, the author suggests a series of small steps when the pain of remaining status quo outweighs that of changing. Fuchs summarizes by suggesting a deep breath, the realization that anxiety has its place within oneself, and to not over-evaluate the symptoms. She picked a provocative title and delivers for the reader, concluding that while episodes can “be quite disruptive, at the heart of it, anxiety wants to help you.” So get curious and look into it. Alternatively, there’s always my granddaughter’s go-to move, telling Google to play a certain Idina Menzel song from “Frozen” six to eight times a day.

If you have anything to say about this – or book recommendations – kindly post below (rather than emailing me) to spark conversation. Thank you!